misterbriefs | First Taunt

So why is it that I'm the only one around here who seems to have picked up mutant head lice?

[He looks like he's been eaten alive by mosquitoes, due to sleeping out in the woods almost every night. Not to mention there's a happy little Joltik nestled right in his hair.] This is almost as bad as sitting in a pile of intergalactic fire ants. [Joltik gives him a glare, because this is so not even the same as that at all. Vegeta glares back, turning his mouth up before looking back at the camera.] Either way, I'd like to know if there is some kind of industrial head lice removal product I can acquire, since nothing I've found at the shops in this Cherrygrove City you have here has seemed to work. In addition, I also need information of how I can start receiving an income so I can eat something of substance for a change. Saiyans don't exactly eat lightly, you know.

[Because what sucks the most is that Capsule Corporation's massive million-zenni income isn't around to fund his eating habits anymore.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, no. Don't think you're the special snowflake here.

[ there is most definitely a Joltik in his own hair. that's just how Static rolls. ]

Hmf. It's more relieving to see that I'm not the only one who has to suffer. [Karkat is now the second ~~troll~~ person he's seen with one, thankfully. It really is making him feel a little better about the situation.]

Don't try to remove it. You're liable to get a nice shock for your efforts, depending on the thing's personality.

I've already removed it several times, but it keeps following me. That's why I was inquiring about something more effective, like lice removal strong enough to kill off a small village. It's a little too fast for me to squash it so I had to throw that plan out the window completely.

[Vegeta might not be learning how to deal with it, but Joltik certainly is learning how to deal with his trainer- so that shocking might come pretty soon.]

I've never met a more persistent pest in my life.

You're its trainer. What the fuck do you expect it to do? Sit and watch you go?

You can't get rid of it so put your big boy pants on and just get over it.

Edited (what is grammar) 2013-06-26 00:46 (UTC)

You really think I want to train an insect? How in the galaxy do you even go about teaching a bug anything at all? [To be fair he has noticed that Joltik is smarter than your average bug but he doesn't want to believe it.]

It's sentient, bumblefuck. Is this something that's common with mammals? The inability to accept that the creatures that roam the planet's surface can, and might be, just as smart as they?

Don't you have quite the foul mouth. I suggest you learn to control that tongue of yours before someone does it for you, kid. [Namely, him.]

I wasn't aware that we were putting bugs on the same level as creatures at the top of the food chain. They don't exactly have a notable IQ where I'm from, so I don't see any reason to automatically assume that this place is any different until proven otherwise.

You are welcome to try, motherfucker.

Though I would have figured that anyone with a functioning think pan could have assumed that these creatures were more than just the norm, what with how this universe presents them. They are treated as partners and treasured friends rather than the mangy, slobbering pets that only run on instinct. Or do you not possess the sleuthing skills necessary to come to that conclusion?

Thanks for the invitation. I'll be sure to take you up on that. [He makes a mental note to knock this kid the hell out the next time he sees him.] I couldn't care less how they're viewed. I'm not here to make 'treasured friends'. In fact, I don't want to be here at all but I know that isn't going to happen anytime soon. So why don't you pipe down and mind your own business.

[Joltik looks at the camera to give Karkat an apologetic look. Sorry, his trainer is kind of a hot-head, but he'll come around eventually, he hopes.]

[ Karkat isn't the only one wanting to retort to that. an Espeon nudges Karkat away, right as the teen opens his mouth. ]

I beg to differ. You are the one that initiated conversation with the inquiry.

What-! [Heeeeey this is the first time a Pokémon has actually spoken to him. So his face is pretty much nothing but wtf mate right about now. Meanwhile, Joltik is giving the ^.^ face. Hi Espeon!]

Did you just say that?!

[ Karkat groans off to the side, face in hands. sassy Espeon is sassy. Leopold, tilts his head to the side. almost giving an eyeroll. ]

No, a figment of your imagination did.

[The groan is heard so he directs his anger at Karkat for a moment-] Oh shut up!

[And then back to Leopold.] Great, I'm stuck on a planet with talking felines and intelligent insects. Just my luck. [Because seeing is believing to the Saiyan and the Pokémon had him convinced of that; or he was hallucinating, but probably not. His face is screwed up into an expression of disgust and anger because he was just proven wrong and hates that so much.

Joltik is very happy with Leopold. He would give the psychic type a huge bug hug if he could.]

Welcome to Johto. Please be sure to enjoy your stay.

Fucking whiner... Thinks he has it so bad.

[To Leopold-] Yeah, right. Thanks. [Grumble grumble.]

[Then back to Karkat-] As for you, I don't remember asking you for your opinion. So unless you've got something useful to say, can it. Your little cat may have proven a point but I'm not going to sit here and listen to that trash can of a mouth of yours run endlessly.

I could say that it's a cultural thing, nookstench. Not every universe, or planet, adheres to the same societal norms. For the sake of not sounding like my bulgesucking, douchewagon of an ancestor slash descendent, I will spare you that speech.

Let's leave it at this: fuck you, I am a troll. I do what I want. You want answers? My friends have been here for years. I've almost been here for two myself. Some of us seem to be stapled to this place and I would highly suggest not starting this glorious ride into your Pokébeast journey telling off a kid who could offer advice in the future.

It makes no difference to me what race or planet you're from, they all cease to exist in the same way. So go ahead and do what you want for all I care. I've at least got enough manners that I'm not going to need the advice of some kid who knows nothing more than the color of his own language and how to use it with beings that should be last on the list to make irate.

[To be fair Karkat has been a lot more helpful than that, but the grouchy Prince can't see past the insults, and refuses to right now.]

But perhaps I will at least take this entire fiasco into consideration by refraining from exterminating my bug problem. [That's good, right?!]

All I heard was a rather elaborate "well fuck guess I was wrong and you were right" and that's all I'm going to hear out of that.

Shut up. [Which could also be interpreted as 'so what'. Not that grumpy here would ever admit he was wrong everrrrr]

First Taunt | Video

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Ah Espeon! Is it communicating verbally or psychically? THAT'S PRETTY AWESOME...

psychically B)

\:D/

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