misterbriefs | First Taunt

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First Taunt | Video

So why is it that I'm the only one around here who seems to have picked up mutant head lice?

[He looks like he's been eaten alive by mosquitoes, due to sleeping out in the woods almost every night. Not to mention there's a happy little Joltik nestled right in his hair.] This is almost as bad as sitting in a pile of intergalactic fire ants. [Joltik gives him a glare, because this is so not even the same as that at all. Vegeta glares back, turning his mouth up before looking back at the camera.] Either way, I'd like to know if there is some kind of industrial head lice removal product I can acquire, since nothing I've found at the shops in this Cherrygrove City you have here has seemed to work. In addition, I also need information of how I can start receiving an income so I can eat something of substance for a change. Saiyans don't exactly eat lightly, you know.

[Because what sucks the most is that Capsule Corporation's massive million-zenni income isn't around to fund his eating habits anymore.]

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Nah that's a jolik, not head lice, only thing it's probably munching on is any static electricity you're giving off. [Says the boy with a Jolik, who is also perked happily in his own hair.]

Most people will tell you to just get a job but you can also start up your own mini business or just challenge local trainers to battles.

[He looks curiously at the Joltik in Killua's own hair. Well, at least he's not the only one.] Oh, so the pest is nothing but a little freeloader, getting a free meal off of me. Well, perhaps I'll take your advice and open a business where this insect can carry its own weight around here.

[Joltik looks down worriedly, what was that supposed to mean? It's not his fault he got stuck with you, you old grump.]

You can use him to beat up other people's pokemon and you can just get money off of that alone. Congrats on getting the smallest possible pokemon in this world as a starter. Who can understand everything you're saying.

[Easily annoyed newbie detected.]

Well that sounds interesting. There's nothing I'd like more than to-

Wait, what are you saying? This little shrimp is the tiniest creature available, and I'm expected to fight other creatures with it? I saw birds in the last city that would make it into a light snack in seconds! Is this some kind of joke?

It would have a pretty good chance, since it's not really weak to birds. While I said it was the smallest, it isn't the most unless pokémon by a long shot. There are far worse things to be stuck with.

We'll see how useful it really is. [Another glare shot up at his companion resting in his hair.]

I can't imagine what's worse than having a tick for a Pokémon.

A needlessly hard to train fish pokemon that only knows about three moves. Those moves are splashing about which does nothing, a simple tackle move, and last is flailing which only effectively works if the thing is already near dead.

That last thing people never get to see because they make sure it evolves before then. Which by the way, your tick can easily take it out anyway by then without evolving.

[Though it would be awesome to see a joltik take down a Gyarados.]

[That would be pretty sweet, maybe Joltik can hide under a scale or something and shock it into submission. Because if a coffee-flavored jawbreaker can take out one of the baddies from Vegeta's world, then surely a Joltik would have some sort of fighting chance!]

Sounds like it would serve better on a platter than as a companion. I'd be willing to try that out, with a side of lemon and tartar sauce. [And he chides Goku for thinking with his stomach...]

[Never understatement the tiny and cute things in the world. You never know if it can kick your ass.]

I wouldn't recommend trying to chow down one since there a force that's stopping people from eating pokémon. So it makes it even more useless.

[He'll never learn that lesson- he didn't after he got his ass kicked by a five year old.]

That's too bad, just the thought of it is making my stomach rumble. I guess fishing isn't part of the equation then. [If there's no fish then there's no sushi...the thought of that makes him pull a face. This sucks.]

[Not to mention getting his tail chopped off by Yajirobe. Which is worse only Vegata pride knows.]

You can fish for pokémon but you can't eat them, if you want fish meat just to market or restaurant.
[So your precious sushi is safe.]

[Omg don't remind him.]

Well thank goodness for that. [THANK GOD KILLUA. THANK GOD. He really likes sushi ;;] I was almost afraid you were going to tell me the primary food choice of this region was cake, or chocolate or something equally as disgusting in large amounts.

[He likes those things but...not in excess.]

What's wrong with having loads of chocolate and cake? Then again that would have meant more for me.

[This place would have been more of a paradise in his eyes. He's such a sugar addict.]

I don't know how anyone would survive on simply eating nothing but sweets. You'd think they'd suffer from unbelievable indigestion and have their insides rotting out.

If I could I would just be eating only sweets and junk food. I mean there was that year where I ate nothing but cake. [Which only happened because his dad let him do what ever he wanted money he won.]

Holy cosmos, you ate nothing but cake for a year and you are still alive to this day? You can't be serious. [He peers at the camera. Are you Majin Buu, Killua?]

Yeah when I was younger. My body has a pretty high tolerance for a lot of things, so I don't really got sick from that sort of stuff.

[Does he look anything like a pink blob of bubblegum to you, Vegata no. ]

I bet I've got a pretty good idea of what your stomach looked like. If I didn't know any better I'd say you probably had...a family of worms living inside you. [He looks grossed out. There's a reason for that.]

That's not likely at all, biggest reason why I could eat all of that is due to my poison tolerance. My family made sure I'd never get sick from consuming anything I eat.

It would have been bad for the family business.

[Even if he isn't taking part in that business anymore. It didn't mean he couldn't reap the benefits from all that "training"]

[That has got to be some of the most counterproductive training he's ever heard of. And wtf kind of job requires eating sweets like that.]

What were you doing, holding entire supermarkets hostage? [Because he totally has room to talk about eating too much.]

My family into the assassin business, you never know what you could run into on the job. Including other hitmen trying to off you through food. So poison training is a must.

Assassination by food, eh? Why didn't I think of that. [Not that he'd use that method anyway but he so could of killed a certain someone off like that.] I'm surprised to see that you're still alive regardless, because drinking rat poison doesn't exactly come off to me like someone with half a brain would attempt.

[Because not everyone has a steel trap of a stomach like Vegeta either.]

They didn't start giving me rat poison right away, it was gradual training so my body get use to them. Like my other trainings, my family had generations to perfect the process.

[It's also funny to note the Zoldycks can live really long lives to boot. Killua's great great grandpa is still alive and assassinating like a champ.]

Straight rat poison is nasty as hell by the way.

Edited 2013-07-02 05:32 (UTC)

[That was interesting enough; he'd ask more about his family but he doesn't...particularly care.]

Of course rat poison is disgusting. I'd be more concerned if they started flavoring it with strawberry or chocolate, we're not supposed to be treating the rats to a dessert after all.

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killer_sweets - 2013-07-07 21:24 (UTC) - Expand

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misterbriefs - 2013-07-09 21:03 (UTC) - Expand

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