misterbriefs | First Taunt

So why is it that I'm the only one around here who seems to have picked up mutant head lice?

[He looks like he's been eaten alive by mosquitoes, due to sleeping out in the woods almost every night. Not to mention there's a happy little Joltik nestled right in his hair.] This is almost as bad as sitting in a pile of intergalactic fire ants. [Joltik gives him a glare, because this is so not even the same as that at all. Vegeta glares back, turning his mouth up before looking back at the camera.] Either way, I'd like to know if there is some kind of industrial head lice removal product I can acquire, since nothing I've found at the shops in this Cherrygrove City you have here has seemed to work. In addition, I also need information of how I can start receiving an income so I can eat something of substance for a change. Saiyans don't exactly eat lightly, you know.

[Because what sucks the most is that Capsule Corporation's massive million-zenni income isn't around to fund his eating habits anymore.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've got tweezers. [He lifts his hand up to get the point across.] If anything at all I think a flamethrower might be more sufficient. I don't think a simple lighter is going to be able to kill this tick I've picked up. Think I can get a hold of one of those?

[At this rate Joltik might have to jump ship. It's starting to look increasingly worried, and Blake is helping Vegeta's cruel creative drive.]

Yeah, try setting your head on fire. That'll get it moving. Try asking any dog or pony you find, half of them can do it.

Course, then you'll be on your own here.

I'm not going to set my hair on fire, I'm going to remove it out of my hair and then set it on fire, since I can't blast it myself. [Which he already misses a lot. :(]

And I wouldn't be caught dead going up to a dog or a pony to ask for help. I'm not a lunatic.

Well as long as you have a plan of action.

Don't blame me. You want a flamethrower, you're gonna have to ask something with four legs. That's how it works here.

But you might wanna think before killing it. That bug right there, that's your one way to keep all the other bugs and monsters around here from chewing on your ass.

This thing? You can't be serious. It's nothing more than an annoying pest, better suited underneath my boot than as a combatant.

[You know those little angry marks that appear on foreheads in anime? Joltik is doing that right now. He's put up with this asshole for a week and it's getting tired of this kind of treatment. It's not hiding its frustration. Keep up that talk Vegeta...]

You want to try punching pigeons and giant spiders for yourself, go ahead. Don't come crying to me when a giant sparrow pecks your eyes out.

[Blake watches the bug. He is going to laugh his ass off if it shocks the guy.]

You underestimate a Saiyan warrior. I don't need a tick to help me defeat anything around here, in fact-

[Isn't that too bad that his sentence gets cut out by granting Blake's wish. That little 'tick' decided he'd had enough and zaps the living hell out of his trainer, giving a nice sassy turn and delving into the depths of Vegeta's hair to cool off. Meanwhile, the Saiyan is nothing but incredibly shocked. Pun intended.]

[Blake cracks up]

Looks like it doesn't like being called a tick.

There's your first lesson - don't get on the bad side of anything that can shock your balls off.

Hey, you're lucky. Your hair looked like that already.

[Meanwhile, the Saiyan is feeling pretty humiliated and can only be described as a ball of rage right about now.]

That little-! If it thinks it's going to get away with this it's got another thing coming!

And lay off about my hair! [He starts violently taking his hands through his hair to get Joltik out, which in a way is successful...except the little electric-type has fled down his back and rests peacefully on Vegeta's shoulder while he is still messing up his hair trying to oust the Pokémon.]

Watch out, it's got the advantage. You can't shoot electricity out your ass.

You don't want crap about your hair, try getting a cut that doesn't look like an ice cream cone with a bad attitude. How does that thing even stay up?

[Don't worry, little bug thing. Blake won't give away your hiding place.]

[Joltik very much appreciates Blake not revealing his hiding spot.] It's an insect. It can shock me all it wants but I'll make it pay in the end. [He's finishing up combing his hair with his hand, pretty positive he'd gotten rid of it.]

For your information I'm not exactly human so my hair behaves a little different than what you're used to. Besides, I've already cut it once. It doesn't exactly grow back.

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